Day 668

Saturday November 4

Another original gig with Hot Vox as we return to The Strongrooms in Shoreditch. This is by far our best show yet as we headline and pack the place out. The audience hasn’t come to see us but anyone entering the bar from the large courtyard rather than the street has to pass through this room to get to the bar above. As far as we can see, most of them stay. And those that don’t run up to the bar, get a drink and return. Almost everyone is standing and just about all eyes are on the stage for our whole show. This is made even better by the fact that Dan’s mum and sister are in town for a visit and they get to see this triumphant performance and are no doubt greatly impressed at this part of Dan’s doings in London. We even follow a full band and more than do our spot justice and they stick around to see us. Appreciated. I don’t hear this but Dan tells me later. For our soundcheck for original gigs we normally play a cover and this has been loosely established as Take It Easy, mostly because it features some lead bass playing right at the start so we can check out how that mixes in. The sound engineer keeps tweaking us so we keep going right to the end, receiving a good solid round of applause. Dan thanks the soundguy for the soundcheck and says we’re ready to go. Out front, one of the previous band members says to his mate with some wonder in his voice, ‘That was their soundcheck?’

Day 641

Tuesday November 7

I’ve filed the usual gig report to Hot Vox while also knowing that they always receive feedback on our gigs, and everyone else’s, from their representatives who are often the soundpeople, especially at the level we’re at right now. They call me today. ‘We’ve been hearing great things about you guys and would like to offer something we don’t often offer.’ This is the opportunity to become part of Hot Vox TV. We had a look at that when we first started. We thought then that it would be the coolest thing to be asked to do but thought that if it ever did happen it would be way in the future. From what I’ve seen, since we began it doesn’t look like anyone else has been added. So far only 20 acts have been filmed from the company’s extensive roster. And my  guess is it’s probably the first place people look when they want to check out the company’s acts for whatever reason. Someone has done a performance in a London cable car, someone else has done one from the beach at the South Bank and of course there are others with equally spectacular London backdrops. We don’t know what ours will be yet. The idea is that we pick the location and work out a time with Hot Vox who then they send a camera crew, or more likely, camera person, as well as someone from their management team to oversee the process. It’s one song in a one take live performance which then goes on the Hot Vox TV part of the website.

If you want to check out what’s there so far, and us later on, just make sure you don’t go to hotvox.com. That takes you to a soft porn site. Instead, it’s hotvox.co.uk. The TV part is very clear on the left hand side of the page.

Day 645

Saturday Nov 11

The first thing I see today is a Facebook post Freddie’s made of his album. It’s all done and getting ready to drop. And he’s included some really cool stuff complimenting my work on it. More. The guy who helped him mix it has had some lovely things to say about my work too. That means even more because that guy came to the project cold and doesn’t know me at all. He’s just heard raw bass tracks and put out the opinion that yes, this stuff is really good.

It’s only now that I relax as, in my moments of self doubt – yes I do have them – I imagined that Freddie had listened to my parts after I laid them down and thought, ‘Nah, they’re not cutting it,’ and got someone else to come in and do them again. Worse, I had some kind of imaginings that even in the session itself he could have been thinking, ‘I’m a bit underwhelmed here. I thought he would have been better. Oh well. I’ll keep smiling and keep saying he’s doing great. I can always get someone else to come in later and do a proper job.’ But no. He really did like it, as did the professional he brought in. Brilliant. And best of all, I’m on there in the final cut.

Tonight it’s The Sun Tavern in Covent Garden. Ben Joseph is playing this same night down the road in The Marquis. Then keep going down the road and you come to Trafalgar Square. In there around the same time, U2 are playing a free show. So there’s some serious competition tonight. Bono and the boys can’t be happy.

Us and Ben are due to play at exactly the same time – eight till ten. So with Dan pretty much heading straight off after we finish as he’s up early in the morning, my plan is to get us packed up and then head down to The Marquis for a hang out. Of course it doesn’t work out like that. As soon as we’re in the door, Jess asks if we don’t mind starting at nine and going on till 11 because there’s a rugby match happening that quite a few people are taking an interest in. No problem at all. What to do with that extra hour? Before we have time to think about that, she directs us to the restaurant upstairs. ‘Go and order whatever you want boys.’ Cool. That done, I fire off a text to Ben to let him know we’re finishing at eleven. Maybe he wants to finish his show and come down and check us out.

Into the show we go and we start with a pretty healthy crowd and keep it all night, right through to the encore for which we choose to play Take It Easy. People really love this song and, although we played this earlier and have a few big songs we’ve not played yet, very few people here now were here when we played this song early on so we think we should give it another blast. Oh dear. It’s a really cool song for this kind of set and people do generally really go for it. But for an encore, it ends up being a little underwhelming. After the hyped up clapping and cheering and more more mores that met the end of the set, our encore finishes to something only a level and a half or so above polite applause. But I guess now we know what to do when we only want to play one encore and not two or three.

But that slight mis-step aside, it’s been a really good show with a lively, attentive and appreciative audience and as we head on out to the bar, we have plenty of chats with people and a few drinks get offered. But what really hits us is a table of five who were there when we started and, bar trips aside, haven’t moved all night. They come and tell us they’re from Liverpool and have come to London just for a night out. I assume they meant the day too for a sightseeing look around but we don’t get that far into the conversation. They say they were looking around for things to see, landed in here for a pint before planning to continue on with their evening wherever it would take them. Well, we started, they loved what they saw, kept loving it and stayed. And here they still are. Wow, wow, wow. Me and Dan are both absolutely floored. They’re on something like a 430 mile round trip for a night out and decided we were worthy for their entertainment. I think that’s the biggest compliment we’ve ever received. Even when I tell them U2 were playing tonight round here, they say, ‘We would rather have been in here watching you guys.’ A few other people say similar things. I don’t agree but I’ll take it.

As for Ben, he doesn’t make it. Just as we’re getting ready to leave, having stayed just a little past closing, I see a reply from him. It came at 11pm just as we were finishing: ‘Damn, just got this. Man, I got all my gear with me.’ He could have brought the gear but I guess he didn’t know the place. I took all mine to The White Hart a few months ago and it was a nightmare. Anyway, both bars have closed now and I’m seeing his text over an hour after he sent it. Oh well. Next time. Yeah. When we play in the same area at the same time and we unexpectedly get pushed back an hour. Yeah, next time that happens.

Day 646

Sunday Nov 12

A first gig in St Christopher’s Inn, London Bridge. But when Dan arrives he says it looks like I made a mistake. We’re not getting very well paid for this one at all. I thought that was a trial price. Apparently not. Oops. Well, I tell Dan that if it goes well he can maybe take it on as a solo gig. I even offer there and then to not play and let him do it as a solo gig and take all the money, to which he replies, ‘Don’t be silly.’

So we do it and all goes well with a pretty decent shout for an encore as we finish on the dot of our finish time of 1am. But the bouncer says that’s it. So that’s it. He’s one of those big gruff types who exudes not an ounce of friendliness and lets the customers know that when it’s time to leave, it really is time to leave. I’m not a fan of that kind of approach from venues but when you’re deep in the heart of London like this and attract a bit of a boisterous crowd, I guess the no nonsense approach makes sense. But his exterior cracks just a little when he comes to us and says, ‘You guys were fantastic. Are you sure the bar has all your details?’ Yes they do thankyou very much. Well, there were some promising signs earlier. He stepped back and took a picture of us about three quarters of the way through and, after a quite nice bass run I did to take a song back in, he and I exchanged a bit of a cheeky smile.

Day 647

Monday November 13

There’s not been much happening over the past few days. You might have even noticed a distinct lack of gigs and other activity, apart from Dan’s weekend away. Yes, so did my pocket. Probably his too. Basically a bit of tail chasing but we’ve seen what that all means in detail before. I might have to relive it but it doesn’t mean you have to. I decided to save that side of things for when stuff actually happened and maybe put in one or two noteworthy bits.

But bloody hell, here’s one. You push it long enough… Phone call number xxx of the day and the week and it opens up just like that. ‘Yes, we are interested and yes there are some slots available.’ The guy I’m speaking to gives me a mobile number to call and to say that he passed it on to me. I call it and get pretty much the same response with no resistance whatsoever. What kind of music do you play? Do you bring all your own equipment? All good. What do you charge? I go in with our full price. All good. ‘Well send me some stuff I can have a listen to and hopefully we’ll get something in the book.’ I’m not saying all calls should be like that, but, why can’t more than one in a bloody thousand be at least a little bit like that? Seriously, for first time cold phone calls in almost two years, only two others have been remotely like that. The Alpha Arms in Slough and O’Neils in Muswell Hill. And I’d already played O’Neils with The Punching Preachers so they knew me so that one doesn’t really count.

Day 648

Tuesday November 14

The national agency gets back to us and OKs the lists of songs we presented. So we’re a go. They give us the login for the calendar they use and say they’ll be getting in touch with the first trial gig and, once that all goes well, we’ll get started on dates with them. This is a really great development and the kind of thing we’ve been chasing all this time. But they say they’ll be contacting us in the next couple of months about a date for the trial so what that really means we have no idea.

Day 649

Wednesday November 15

The Insiders, as we and you know it, is over.

As much as yesterday’s email was good news, it just pushes our future further into the future. Dan has a kid on the way and has waited absolutely as long as he could for this to provide the kind of funds he needs for that. We really thought the new agency was going to be our get out of jail free card but we can’t wait until March for that to kick in, or at least he certainly can’t. And, as I said yesterday, there’s no guarantee it will kick in even then; they might go for, or might only be able to offer, a slow type of buildup before a full diary becomes a possibility. But again, even if it does, it looks like March at the very earliest with the trial gig not looking likely before February.

Apart from that, gigs just haven’t been materializing as we thought they would so this shift in Dan’s priorities is totally understandable. We talk all this out in our favourite summit place, The Pineapple. And it was me who made the first move, reluctantly calling Dan to say, ‘I think we’re done.’ I just don’t see where we go from here, especially with his more pressing needs. Once we sit down and have had a nice chat and a laugh for a few minutes, I invite him to open. He says he’s thought it all through and come to pretty much the same conclusion. From there we agree it’s time to look after ourselves and go our separate ways. I think we should have called it a day after the funding didn’t come through for the care home project. As I said at the time, I was surprised Dan didn’t. The first thing I said to him when we sat down after that was, ‘What now?’ I didn’t tell him my thoughts. He said he wanted to carry on as we were as he had faith in it. I tell him now what I thought back then but yeah, I was happy with him wanting to carry on too.

Talking it through we conclude we’ll still continue to work together. We’re going to carry on with the original stuff, and do what few paid gigs we have in the book while taking on others as long as they pay properly. No more favours or low paid trials or see how it goes prices. This includes gigs outside of London in which a massive chunk gets taken out by paying for car hire. No more of them. Unless a gig can pay enough to cover the car. But with most venues figuring an act is an act, unless they’re totally sold on us, their thinking will be they can pay their normal price and bring in someone local. Why do they need to pay more because we’re coming from Camden and have to hire a car? That’s not their problem.

At the beginning we honestly thought we could be on our way to a full time wage, or at least a decent part time one, within six months. Call that dreaming? Fine. But after two years? We thought that would have been a given. We’ve pushed and pushed and pushed and, against the scale of what you might have hoped to achieve with that, pretty much nothing. Then, for the original stuff, we’ve done very little pushing and we’re far beyond where we could possibly have imagined we would be after such a short amount of time. Our first original gig was in The Phoenix at the end of May, so six months ago.

In talking about all this, as we agree there’s very little more we could have done, I have a realisation. The spreadsheet I have for The Insiders contains 150 venues. But that’s only the venues I’ve developed a dialogue with, or who have booked us or shown a solid interest. For every one in there, I’ve spoken to four, five or maybe even six. Across the whole of greater London and into all its bordering counties. Do the maths. Then there’s all the agencies I’ve spoken to and dealt with. Then all the corporate people I went direct to to try and get things going there. And don’t forget the care homes. For all the ones we were going to play, and the ones we did, you can possibly triple that for the number I actually had some kind of dealings with. This puts the number of entities I’ve contacted during our almost two years to probably over a thousand. Then we consider where we’ve got ourselves to performancewise. As Paul said, a very good product. To have that product, to have spoken to over a thousand entities to sell it, and to have only got it to where we have? Dan says, ‘You couldn’t write it.’ Well, I say, I’m going to. And here I am. But I know what he means.

This gives me an opportunity to get down how things have gone with a few highlighted places. Some of them looked so promising once upon a time. I recently put this below bit together in a shorter form just so that I could see what had happened and where. These are what I consider key venues. There are of course more. Once I’d done this, I thought it would be a good thing to be able to show Dan in black and white. He saw it last week and was shocked to see it presented like that. I know. If my uncle had been a horse I’d be a pony. Or however it goes. But I think it’s very fair to say that if things had developed with these places in the way we might have been able to expect, even in a few of them, then to a great or lesser degree we’d be sitting pretty comfortably right now.

This covers 19 venues and is in no particular order.

Belushi’s, London Bridge.

We used to be able to count on this for a well paid monthly Thursday night gig. They went away due to refurb and have come back on Tuesdays and not so well paid. These shows are, and always have been, booked through Live And Loud. So I’ve been putting us forward for all the Tuesdays since they came online and so far nothing. I’ve tried to call a few times and try again now, finally getting hold of the booker, Dave. He says that yes we are still in his thoughts but he’s been giving some new people a go. Even though that goes against us, I’m happy to hear it. As I said just a little bit above here, so many venues keep the same few acts on heavy rotation and make it almost impossible to break in.

O’Neils, Muswell Hill

Another place that was a very well paid monthly feature. Until we were advised not to play there anymore as their horrendous sound could do our reputation more harm than good. I’ve recently heard they’re under new management so think it’s worth seeing where they are now. They don’t do music at all anymore. Now I know.

The Round Bush, Watford

This was promising to be something of a new regular venue after we played twice in relatively quick succession. However, subsequent phone calls have elicited, ‘I know where you are, I’ll call when I have something.’ Still no call. I take it they’re not interested; the last time we played, the manager wasn’t there and attendance wasn’t great. I can only think she looked at the figures the next day and decided we weren’t right for the place. If so, this is a bit harsh as it’s out in the wilds so it’s impossible to bring passing trade in. Oh well.

The Alpha Arms, Slough

This one is fine although probably only every two to three months.

The Boston Arms, Tufnell Park, just up the road

Again, fine and well paid. But as we saw recently they’re all booked for the rest of the year and don’t do anything in the quiet months of January and February. So for all intents and purposes, this one has slipped off the radar for now.

The Marquis, Covent Garden near Traf Square

All good.

Sun Tavern, Covent Garden

Ditto.

The White Hart, Drury Lane

Massive enthusiasm from Kristoff, the manager who I consider a friend, but the higher ups seem to have other ideas for now so all quite on the whitened front.

The Bike Shed, Shoreditch

This used to be a great monthly gig and another banker. But they just stopped doing music altogether. You might remember I spoke about that when we turned up for a gig that had been cancelled for this very reason but we’d somehow not got the memo. They played ball and we still got paid that night.

The Q Grill, Camden

We never got off the ground here and that hurt a little. Really well paid Sunday afternoon acoustic gig and why nothing ever got thrown our way I have no idea. I put us forward for loads of slots they had and even met and spoke to the booker. I saw other acts there and played there once with Francesca and know for a fact we would have been absolutely perfect. But no dice. Somewhere in the last few months they’ve changed management and cut music out altogether. So no dice for anyone else now.

The Grafton, Kentish Town

A local gig, on the same street Dan lives on. But they pay badly and only in vouchers that have to be redeemed in one go and only for drinks. We decided to cut this one out.

The Vine, across the road from me

This started so fantastically with Edyta the manager saying she might even want to get us in every two weeks. She left, as did all the promise. It might come back online but I’m not massively anticipatory of that. Anyway, for the whole of this year it’s been run by a succession of holding managers with no authorisation to spend anything that isn’t already on the books.

The Oxford, do I need to tell you?

This one doesn’t really belong on this list but it’s where it all started in every sense of the phrase. Where whole London adventure began in earnest after the terrible and hugely stressful – but, I’m assured, fun to read – beginning, and where the genesis of The Insiders arose with The Jam Jar Jam. As I said recently, Lawrence keeps making promising noises while always shifting the start line a little further ahead. He knows where I am.

The York, Angel

We played there on our four gigs in one day free London showcase. The manager loved us and made all kinds of promises. Not one kept. Everytime I phoned it was, ‘My area manager will be in next week. I’ll bring this up with him then.’ If you pull the cord behind her back, another line comes out. I think four lines have been programmed at the factory.

Kings Head, Angel

This was supposed to be a regular gig once we played a free trial. All documented how the guy saw us at another venue and loved us, then left and his successor cared nothing for his opinion and demanded we do the trial thing. That person then never even bothered to be there for that trial and, despite the duty manager saying we’d gone great and he would put in a word for us, the real manager said that we weren’t suitable. Big sausages. Or some other phrase with the same abbreviation.

Molly Molloys, Watford.

Big sausages again. Steaming big sausages. They said there was a possibility we could make it onto their roster, just call when roster time comes round. I did. The guy told me he’d already done it all for the year. Stuff like that has happened more times than I’ve written about. A few people even promised a whole year roster last year for this one and then I was just unable to ever get hold of them again. And it never seemed to occur to them to pick up the phone. Molloys gets the nod here because it’s the latest one, and also the first bar I just hung up on. In any phone call. I wasn’t particularly or overly mad at this venue. I just couldn’t eat one single other piece of sausage.

The Maple Leaf, Covent Garden

We played a great gig there for their Canada Day celebrations and they said they’d love to have us back on an occasional basis. Numerous management changes have seen this essentially disappear for us as a venue. Fair enough. Still a great place though and one of the number one places in London for live sport. And wonderful food. And they really do do big sausages without any of the smell.

The Calf, Clapham

We only played one gig there but that was supposed to lead to other things until they changed management, which went to …

The Falcon, Clapham

They told us they’d like to add us to their roster of three or four bands. Then in the next call they said they’d stopped doing music altogether until February or March of next year. I have little doubt that when I call around that time there’ll be a whole new other management team in place.

Then there’s Sam. In one drunken night in his apartment above The Oxford in the very early days for us, he talked about getting us into his new place. Then from there he said he’d be able to help by passing us onto friends of his who owned other bars, and so on. ‘Before long you won’t be pulling pints anymore,’ he said. This was one of the reasons we called ourselves The Insiders. He even mentioned the conversation a few days later when he was stone cold sober to let me know it wasn’t just drink talk. Sorry but it was. So that makes a nice round 20 places. Or even more if you add the bars he was claiming he’d be able to get us into.

And, apart from all of the above, I’m mystified at how I’ve been unable to cut any ice with so many other people I’ve spoken to. Unprompted by me, Dan says exactly the same thing.

Day 650

Thursday November 16

I think I should mention a few other things about mine and Dan’s chat last night that I didn’t get down.

But before I do I have to say that in my appraisal of some of the highlight venues, I forgot to mention Waxy O’Connors, that pretty much closed shop right in the centre of Soho. It’s worth mentioning again in this context as I felt, rightly or wrongly, that we were possibly on the way to finally cracking it or at least getting a look at cracking it. Add the kudos of that to the very tangible progress it looked like we were about to start making with our new and about to come on board national agent, so yeah. After almost two years of pushing, dragging and kicking, The Insiders could be forgiven for thinking they were on their way. Or at least on their way to being on their way. Now this.

This looking back at what was our thing. When he was here last, Paul asked who was in charge and couldn’t get his head round the fact that I said no-one. And that was really true. I’m actually getting quite sad right now typing this and writing about The Insiders in the past tense. But the truth was that A, we very rarely had disagreements and B, 90 per cent of the time, if one person didn’t want to do something we just didn’t do it. Rehearsals were arranged as and when we wanted with no timetable. Sure, often we’d fix a bit of a schedule but just as likely it could be, ‘Wednesday or Thursday sometime. Just call me when you’re ready and I’ll probably be able to come round.’ We both said things like that and it worked. There you go again. WorkED. And in rehearsals. We decided when breaks happened. And in gigs, a mistake. So what? We had a laugh, played round it and moved on. Get to a rehearsal. ‘I’ve not learned that song.’ No problem. You clearly haven’t been able to or you would have done. Nothing was said. We just got on with it and learned it there and then. Not what rehearsals are ideally for but again, we just did it. This was a result of trust and we added songs far quicker than any project I’ve ever been involved with. And if the odd mistake here or there bothered our audience, we must have been regularly reading those three encore calls just all wrong. I’ve always said it. To be entertained, people enjoy watching people enjoy themselves. In that necessary looseness you can lose an edge of perfection. But if you’re standing up there slavishly and studiously making sure you get every single note and beat right while looking like you’re studying the quarterlies, then for all your audience is concerned, you might as well be in an office studying the quarterlies. I’ve played with all different levels of tolerance for mistakes but I’ve never been in an act that had as many encore calls as The Insiders. So please, tell me which approach is correct.

It was only for the first time last night that we really acknowledged this freedom we’ve given ourselves and what it meant. And also that this way of working was a highly unusual situation. I think it’s only now as we go into our new things that we’re going to find out just how unusual. Or at least I will. Dan may well just stay solo and I guess we’ll find out how that goes.

It’s worked because we both have an intensity while at the same time wanting to be calm in what we do. When you see that same intensity in the person you work with, you kind of relax because you know you don’t have to drag anyone onto your page. Then that goes round in positive cycles until it goes from intense to casual without losing anything the former state would produce. It kind of reminds me of what I once heard a huge rock star say when talking of working with another huge rock star: ‘When big egos come together, they diffuse.’ Added to that, Dan is possibly the most professional person I’ve ever worked with. Certainly among anyone I’ve ever worked with this closely.

So where am I now and what am I going to do about it? I’m not entirely sure.

Well, I guess I should just get on it and see what’s out there. Re-educating myself with the internet boards makes me feel like I’m right back to where I started when I was on the first bursts that led to The Punching Preachers and Omater but I shouldn’t be thinking like that. For a start, I’ve got a whole load of agents I’m aware of that I wasn’t then. Calling them and letting them know you’re available really can work; Paul has employed quite few people in his bands after they’ve speculatively contacted him and he’s kept their details so I know it happens. And I’m not starting from scratch here. I have a whole database of them and I’ve spoken to them all. There are a few I know to avoid and some I know don’t have much going on. Or anything going on.

It’s also important not to panic and just jump at the first thing that comes up. Kev, Radiotrib puts it best when he says, ‘Now you need to get busy finding THAT audition.’ He’s more right than he knows. I really don’t think Diary could take anything less.

For the agent calls, I have a decent chat with a ferry company and they invite me to send my details in because, they say, you never know. While they prefer to take on full bands rather than musicians to form bands, if anyone pulls out of one of one of their engagements mid-contract, they say they do like to have a heads up on who might be available to throw in at short notice. They also tell me they’re looking for a four piece party band to start early December. Talk about being in the right place at the wrong time.

I also make a post on Facebook just to get the word out there that I’m available. That’s something else I couldn’t have done at the beginning as I didn’t know anyone in London who would have responded to that. If a few of my London music friends see it, they might know something, or maybe if they hear of anything, they might just remember seeing or hearing that on the market after so long of telling people I’m not. This post also gets quite a few disappointed reactions but positive messages at the same time. All really noted and appreciated.

Then of course there’s my music manager friend. I had pretty much the same conversation with him a while ago when it looked like Dan was going to the Middle East and I wasn’t. Again, he says yes people are always looking. He knows of nothing right now but he’s glad I called to let him know. Word out.

And just when I’m looking for new networking opportunities, I get an invite to the Christmas party of one of my extras companies.

Now where was I? Oh yes. Organising Hot Vox TV. Me and Dan have had the idea to shoot the video at The Marquis with Dan suggesting we do it in the alley that runs round the back of it. A scene of one of the Harry Potter movies was filmed here. That might work. If there’s too much foot traffic, we can just move inside and use the bar. All this is confirmed after I call Tommy to see if that will all be OK. We talk about times then it’s just up to me to get all that co-ordinated between Dan and the team of Hot Vox.

After this it’s gig time. The Pack And Carriage again. Despite promising starts, this is not a vintage one. We get there and it’s busier than it’s ever been. Maybe due to the regular night having been moved from Sundays to Thursdays. As the night goes on, we discover most of the people are here to see two of the acts. That’s all cool. But when it comes to our turn with us being last, all the groups are just talking between them and there’s barely any acknowledgement at all that we’re even there. Apart from a few encouraging people, we’re playing to the backs and sides of people’s heads and the ends of songs drop into near silence. Add a terrible monitor mix to that and neither of us are particularly happy. We can hear enough of what’s going on to know what’s going on but that’s it although we’re assured the sound is great out front. Four songs of the eight or nine in and I’m thinking, ‘I’m supposed to be enjoying this but I just want to get off.’ Dan says later that he’s thinking the same. There’s even a tinge of embarrassment as it all disappears into an abyss of indifference.

Dan leaves very soon after we finish. Not because of any of the above but because he’s got to get up early for work tomorrow. I stick around, not least because I’ve got free drinks to avail of. But besides, post gig can often be good for networking as we’ve seen before. It’s for this reason, and just to try to be cool about it, that even when we’re on last, we get there early enough to see most of the other acts. Having been there and seen them, you’re able to talk to them before you go on and have a bit more substance to conversations afterwards. None of that happens tonight but someone does come up to me and asks if we do covers as well. When I say yes, she says, ‘Do you have a card? I loved your sound and I’m thinking you guys might be just right for my wedding.’ I text that encounter straight to Dan. You really just don’t ever know how these things have really gone.

Day 651

Friday November 17

I call Hot Vox to get this video thing organised. When it comes up that my bass is electric, there’s a pause on the other end of the line. ‘Er, this is an unplugged thing so no electrics.’ Oh bum. I tell her the bass and acoustic guitar is our whole sound and, as far as we’re concerned, what sets us apart from a lot of other singer/songwriter acts. Surely that was why they wanted us to do this in the first place. She goes away to check and says sorry, but yes. Totally unplugged. It’s probably redundant language but I can’t help myself. I tell her that yes, that will be absolutely fine but even an acoustic bass would have to be plugged in as they just aren’t loud enough. Unless you go for a double bass which is then a totally different sound and look even if I had one and could play it which I don’t and can’t.

OK. Well I know Dan had some other ideas of doing it that we crossed off the list because they didn’t have power. This also makes it a bit easier for everyone as there’s only one musician to be co-ordinated now. I tell the girl I’ll get Dan to call her and they can get that all sorted as he might want to put some of his other ideas forward now. Fine.

My ID card arrives from the extras company I registered with recently. That’s cool. Not had one of those things before. Now I have something in my wallet to wave at film studio security.

I call Ben to fill him in. This is just me putting stuff out there. I might be wrong but I get the feeling in this conversation that he’d be interested in doing something duowise. But hell, I’ve been trying to sell that for almost two years so unless someone’s got it all lined up, I ain’t about to start trying to do that again.

Day 652

Saturday November 18

Another storming Marquis gig with a first – our first semi famous person in. That we’re aware of anyway. The manager of Anthony Joshua, world heavyweight boxing champion. Well, he holds two of the belts anyway. Does anyone else get how there can be four people in every weight calling themselves the world champion of that division? Anyway, Joshua holds the WBA and IBF. We don’t see his manager or know he’s there. A girl we speak to afterwards tells us and shows us a selfie she took with him. As for the semi famous thing, I just made that little phrase up as I didn’t know what to call it. What do you call someone with such a close association to fame without being famous? Roger Federer’s manager for example. I just had to look up his name and I’d never heard of him. Still. If someone told me Federer’s manager was at one of our gigs I’d be excited about that.

Day 653

Sunday November 19

Marquis Tommy has seen the Facebook post and sends me a dismayed message. A really nice one too, saying that we’ve become part of the place. I call him and say that yes, while things are going that way, we’re still playing some shows and will be keeping what we have with him and maybe booking others. That’s a call that ends happier than it started.

Then my post generates another message, this time from someone I was on Star Wars with. She says there’s a friend of hers I should check out. This friend of hers recently played a stadium gig supporting The Darkness among others. The same Darkness whose bass player I had a drink with in The Pineapple a few months ago. You see how this all goes round? Later on I go to her site and have a look and a listen but it’s not for me. Someone trying to make their way and be a rock star with an original band and be a rock star. They’re not bad but from their agenda, impressive as it is, it doesn’t look like any of them are about to quit the day job. Still, it’s good to see the network working.

I’ll drop the suspense. Later on I go to her site and have a look and a listen but it’s not for me. Someone trying to make their way with an original band and be a rock star. They’re a loud and rocking band and good at what they do but it’s clear it’s not a money maker. But it’s good to see the network working.

Jenn suggests a night out and it’s a quiet dinner at our Camden Wetherspoons after which she says we should to go The Good Mixer. This is like no other pub I’ve ever been in and it doesn’t disappoint tonight. We play a bit of pool and get the tennis on and in walks a massively tall guy all dressed for the circus. He looks like someone you’d see at the top of a set of stilts. He’s one of those fire breathing juggler guys. We get talking to him round the pool table and he tells us of his travels all round Europe doing what he does and yes, he’s done a few circuses. Without us asking him to, he gets his clubs out and starts throwing them all about himself. Close up, right in front of us they spin and whizz and clatter when he drops one. A few people in the bar aren’t impressed and ask him to stop. Yes, it’s clear one of them could fly off anywhere at any moment. Maybe even right into the spirits behind the bar. Now that would be a Good Mixer moment. A good mixing moment actually. He takes heed of the polite protestations and stops. At least we enjoyed it.

Day 654

Monday November 20

Late on I get a text from a singer. He’s seen an advert of mine online and says he’s trying to start a band. Got a really committed guitarist, maybe a drummer, and plenty of songs. He’d like to start gigging soon. Sorry. That sounds great for the right person but that isn’t me. His text asks me to get back to him if I’m interested. Well, I’m not interested so I don’t think I’m rude in not answering. Still, it’s my first bite.

Day 655

Tuesday November 21

Mid morning and I get an email from an international agency which organises residencies in hotels and the like in Asia. I applied to them on Friday. Their site said they were currently welcoming general applications from musicians including bass players. They’d like me to perform an online audition and have sent me eight songs for it. A jazz standard including solo, a couple of classic chart hits, a solo transcription after which I have to carry on in the same style, and my own solo over a backing track, along with a couple of other pieces including a slap thing. I’ve got to get all this down and recorded by Sunday. Bloody hell. Last night I put together a bit of an agenda for today. I don’t even look at it. I really need to know what’s about to be thrown at me here so I hit the shed straight away.  

Day 656

Wednesday November 22

Part one

A thought on the Reading audition that just occurred to me. Imagine you see your dream job advertised and go for it. You know the competition will be fierce. But you’re delighted when you see you’ve jumped the first hurdle – and possibly over the first field of competitors – by getting an interview. You fully prepare yourself, reading up on the company and making sure everything your end is as fully ready as it can be and you impatiently chalk off the days till the interview. You arrive all nervous but know you’ve done everything you can to be ready for this. Come the end of it, you know you’ve done great and given as good an account of yourself as you have. You’ve even really hit it off with the interviewer. Now it’s the nervous wait period until you hear back. A few days later you can’t believe it when you open your email and see a reply from them with the subject field reading, ‘Congratulations.’ No way, you’ve gone the full course and you excitedly open the email to see what it says. Reading it, you soon see. All good. All good. All good. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Job done and you’re already preparing your celebratory somersault. Then you read the end of it. ‘So,’ it says, ‘See you when you start here in five months.’ Five months!!? What the hell good is that to you? Far from getting the champagne out, you’re suddenly deflated as you realise you’re right back where you started. That’s exactly what happened to us.

And now I’m onto the next audition. I had a good look at the material yesterday and it’s a pretty intense schedule as you saw. They also want the videos to be performed as though I’m on stage. ‘This is not the time to be shy,’ it says.

One of the songs they want to have a look at is Do You Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart. There’s clearly something about this one as I also had to prepare it for the Middle East audition. It’s a real workout of a technique. Very disco with a lot of string crossing and very fast inverse octave playing while also having to move between notes without losing any of the rhythm or momentum. Given that this audition has a turnaround of less than a week, if you haven’t already got that technique down now, or can at least do something close to it, you’re probably not going to get it in time. And this is what I don’t know about this. Are they demanding a quick turnaround because they have some slots they want to fill sooner rather than later, or is it just a test to see if you can deliver at that speed?

Preparing for the Middle East audition was very demanding but I also had two weeks to get it sorted. It took me a week to be able to play through everything confidently without any reference to my notes. This is very different. After a good solid start yesterday, by the end of today’s practice I feel like I’ve more or less got it all down. Tomorrow will be a day for consolidation. I hope. There’s another advantage here in that I have to make Youtube videos rather than stand in front of someone and play. With not too long to prepare, that will help when I get to do the recordings; the previous audition, you had to stand in front of the guy and know it all as it came at you. This time I’ll be able to give myself a little refresher before each video. And also, if I make a mistake, I can delete and start again. But if I do get past this stage, of course the time will come when I’ll have to play in front of someone. I just think the video concept takes that little bit of pressure off when it comes to those first performances. But of course there will also be the red light to deal with, especially with the AL performance being over five minutes including a solo. I’m pretty good with recording now, but even so, I’m not really relishing that one. A big part of me would still just like to stand in front of someone and play through it all.

However, how it is with these virtual auditions I really don’t know. This will be the third time I’ve done one. The other two happened when I was living in Madrid. One for a cruise – three full cover songs and one ‘do-what-you-want-impress-them’ piece’ – and one for a touring Bruce Springsteen tribute band. I never heard back from either of them. I thought that was a bit out of order. I understand these people get inundated and can’t respond to everyone, but surely they should reply to everyone they decide put through the audition stage. A lot of work goes into those things. At least give some constructive criticism. But then, maybe this will frustratingly be the same.

While I said that after today’s practice I can play through everything, I know I’ll have to work a bit on my slap although I already knew that was a bit of a weakness. Luckily the slap required isn’t super high level Marcus Miller standard. So for this part of it, as a refresher and perhaps a little more advancement, I’ve been turning to Phil Mann, heading back to his brilliant slap course which I’ve already been dipping in and out of.

With slap being a bit of a sticking point, I’ve had a little luck on another track; the jazz standard is the ever favourite Autumn Leaves which I’ve been doing with Dan for quite a while. The only thing I have to get my head round is soloing through the whole form as we adapted it to have a shorter structure for that part.

Now I’ve got all that going on, I don’t envisage much writing happening until I’ve done the audition as I’m going to save myself completely for the bass, especially as I’ve not long got over writing the Madrid back story.

Day 656

Wednesday November 22

Part two

Paul gets onto me today in some concern about what’s happened to The Insiders. He sees the breakdown of a few of the venues I decided to highlight and says, ‘I could write the same with a list of venues here so it was like reading something I could have experienced! Totally sympathise, extremely frustrating job.’ He goes onto say that trying to open venues and book bands can often be like pushing custard up a hill with a fork. And he’s been a very successful band manager for over ten years so maybe I can’t really be too hard on myself.

I get a call from Ben. Am I going to his show tonight? It’s at the very famous Dublin Castle in Camden. I knew it was on but, reading between the lines, you may have realised spends around here aren’t exactly flowing like water at the moment. There’s not been much of the London life being lived lately and jam sessions have been very sporadic. I might even go as far as to say I’m a little out of the loop I need to be in right now and I really have to re-engage. I don’t say any of this to him of course, but before I can say I was thinking about it, he says he’s put me plus one on the guest list. Jenn’s listening in on this call and she’s really been wanting to see Ben’s band for a while so she mouths, ‘Go. We should go.’ OK. We’re on.

Ben’s band The Lay Lows – appropriate name for now – is headlining, and we get there in time to see the band that’s on before them and hang out with a few of The Lay Lows’ friends and supporters. Then it’s into their show which has attracted a really healthy crowd. It’s all familiar to me from rehearsal but the energy is of course quite a few levels higher. Bens’ quite an amazing character. So low key and personable off stage, but an absolute animal on it. And a very charismatic one at that. The other guys seem to take their cue from him for a great all round vibe that emanates all round the venue. And the bass player, Jordan. The guy I may well be depping for some time in the future. He’s a real blues beast with some wonderful fills, great timing and an overall very powerful and fluid style. Those are the shoes I’ll have to fill if I ever get up there with them. Next to me front and centre Jenn’s loving it. She’s quite familiar with a lot of Ben’s material having heard it when I showed her what I was working on. It’s fair to say she’s become something of a Ben fan and she has her favourite tracks, one of which the main man is happy to dedicate to her. So that’s her night made.

Later on there’s a lot of general hanging out, and milling and mingling going on. I get talking to Vincent, the drummer, and a random guy comes and joins us saying he’s also a drummer but he’s bummed he missed the show. Just got here from rehearsal he says. He and Vincent swap drumming tips and stories and other people come and go from our little threesome. Then I leave them to it for a while. A little later, I hear our new friend talking to someone else about the bands he plays in. ‘I have three,’ he says. ‘But the main one’s called Duchess.’ Hang on. I jump in. ‘Freddie’s Duchess?’ ‘Yeah, that’s the one,’ he says. No way. ‘I played bass on a few tracks of his album.’ That’s it. We’re away and we make proper introductions now. Lou’s his name. You know mine. I’ve forgotten the names of the songs I played on but we get there and Lou says, ‘I really hope our bass player eventually learns and plays exactly what you did on those tracks.’ ‘I’m sure he’ll find his own way,’ I say. ‘Yeah, but I want him to do what you did.’ Nice words follow and all, of course, really cool to hear. He tells me rehearsals are going great and they plan to make the live debut sometime in January. Brilliant. I’ll keep an eye out. It will be really weird if I go to that and hear the bassist play the exact same lines I recorded. That will be a new one. Yeah, I went to the session with ideas and knowing more or less what I was going to do, but each take is just how I played it on that take, especially some of the changes and ideas that Freddy suggested and asked me to play there and then. For each track I just did a few different versions of what I thought he wanted and he used the one he liked best. It’s strange to think that out of that comes a definitive bassline that people may end up identifying those songs with and then trying to copy. Jenn hears all this and later asks me about it. This next bit is pretty much how I explain it. For a long time, and since I started to understand how the recording of albums worked, my take on this has been, apart from the iconic parts,  to remain faithful to the song and the bass player but find your own way into it just like he or she did. I was stunned the first time I heard someone talking about this concept as, for years I had thought, like many lay people, that bands went into the studio with every single note worked out and then played it like that, continuing to do so forevermore. Not so. Not at all. It was Flea who first woke me up to it. He said that he just jammed round the changes in the studio until he got a good vibe and they used the best take. But it was what he said next that really got me. That even after recording he didn’t necessarily then learn the exact bassline he’d laid down; when playing all those famous songs live he was often just jamming there too. And I understand that one of the main keyboard players in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band never played the same thing twice. So what you get on any given record is just what he did in that take, possibly never to be exactly repeated again. So do I want or expect the bass player to play exactly what I did? No. Would it be really cool if he did, even partly? Oh hell yeah.

Day 657

Thursday November 23

Paul confirms he’s forming a new band and in their repertoire will be two of my songs. Can I Fly and Let’s Have A Party. Probably a way to go yet before they hit the stage, but this could be interesting.

As I thought at the end of practice yesterday, I feel more or less ready to go by the end of the day. To finish today’s sheddings, it’s a quick mop up and . A little look tomorrow to remind myself of everything and consolidate, then I’ll start recording. The idea is to get a jump on it to take the pressure off rather than wait till Sunday and try to do the whole thing then. A few things in the can then make improvement recordings. Probably leave the slap one till last to give myself the most time to get more of the technique down. Slap isn’t really anything I’ve ever had to use very much and isn’t something I’ve done much solid work on. I think I can impress a lay person but that’s pretty much about it. As I said, I’m seeing what Phil can do to help me out with that but there’s only so much I can do with this small window; as well as technique issues that are possible to improve relatively quickly, I also have to build up a few physical things for it and that ain’t going to happen overnight

Day 658

Friday November 24

Deep breath and let’s get ready to do this thing. It’s only now that I realise what a bit of a production recording is going to be. I’ve got the place to myself for a good while and first I have to get it ready so it looks at least a little bit aesthetically acceptable. That means a major reworking of the room to give myself a more or less clear background. It takes a little while to create that off camera mess of all the stuff I’ve chucked out of the shot that I’m going to put back later on. And of course before I can start I’ve got to get dressed and do my hair as though I’m getting ready to hit the stage which is the look they want.

The first one I go for is Do You Think I’m Sexy with its tricky rapid reverse octave string skipping beat. I’ve got a midi file abbreviated version of it that calls for me to do my own thing for a few bars before launching into the riff proper. I just can’t get a full clean take of it and four or five in I’m getting really frustrated. I thought I was ready and properly warmed up for this. Apparently not. And that’s the key to playing this kind of bassline. So a bit of a break for some more stretching and massaging. When I come back, that’s much more like it. Two takes and I’ve got the first track in the can. Relief.

I then go on a bit of a burn, blasting through four more of the trial pieces, each one in just two or three takes. Apart from the two minute blues piece complete with solo. I get that one down first time. A really solid start I think. The plan now is to tackle Autumn Leaves and one more outstanding piece tomorrow, leaving Sunday for the slap one, giving myself as much preparation time as possible for it.

With all that done, combining today’s recording and practice today comes to three hours. That’s four days in a row managed that amount of time. Two is quite regular with the sporadic three. It feels really good to have done that for four consecutive days now.

I’ve essentially been working in 15 to 25 minute sessions with a break after each one with the duration of those breaks depending on how difficult a session has been. If I feel really wiped after two or three, it might well be a few hours before I feel fully refreshed and ready to tackle things again. This is how I generally operate with practice. This is something I don’t really talk about much here but I’ll have a little go now.

Scott says anything after three hours in a day produces the optimum as the law of diminishing returns while Gary Willis says he has never practiced more than three hours in a day. Yes, I can play and have played up to seven hours in a day but when that’s happened, it’s been with sessions as I’ve just mentioned then maybe a rehearsal and a gig. As you know, put a bunch of songs on you know and you can play them all day, or for as long as your stamina holds out, but actual learning and brain gymnastics requires a different kind of approach and discipline. And in this, saying, ‘I’m going to stop now for a while,’ is part of that discipline. Today I hit three hours and think I might make it to four and even go beyond that. Maybe it’s psychosomatic but as I go into the first quarter of the fourth hour, I can see that I’m done and nothing else is going in at all so I call it a day.

With all that, I’ve not even been doing any writing. Been saving myself completely for the bass, especially as not long got over writing the Madrid diary.

On while were here, a friend of mine used to say that while he understood three hours was a lot, he didn’t see it as anything insurmountable. Then he started playing harmonica with no previous musical experience. Not long after he came back to me in quite a state of surprise. He said he’d discovered that a concentrated practice left him mentally wiped after ten to fifteen minutes. If he made it to half an hour he said he had to go to sleep. Then when he woke up and tried to start again, he found he couldn’t contemplate getting back to it. Then he realised, ‘Mark does up to three hours of this in a day. How?’ All of a sudden he had a new and almost awestruck respect for the concept.

Day 659

Saturday November 25

Before I get to today, first a couple of recordings from yesterday.

The assignment here was to transcribe the solo at the beginning then go and do my own thing for the rest of it.

And the Do You Think I’m Sexy one.

I am so happy I made that start yesterday. With all the video editing and downloading, not to mention multiple takes, trying to get this whole thing done on one day – the last day – would have been an absolute pressure cooker of a nightmare. This is another advantage of this over the Middle East audition. With that, once I felt I was really ready, I just wanted to do it but had to wait for the day and just play through all the pieces everyday just to keep them there. With this, as soon as I’ve felt ready and optimum, I’ve been able to get to it which was what yesterday was all about.

So onto Autumn Leaves. This has been really hanging over me from the beginning. I have to get a five minute take done including a solo and the jazz double turnaround at the end. A curveball has also been thrown in with a deliberately often off tempo piano and drums that sometimes just seem to bash about a bit. Here we go.

Two minutes into the first take and I’ve lost the form and can’t get it back. Try again. Second take. Come on. I really don’t want to have to do this one too many times. Four or five takes into something like this and you might start to feel like you’re never going to get it and that can start to play on your mind and have a very negative psychological influence. And you can’t just play it safe either. You have to be varied, interesting and really work the neck too. Bloody hell. It feels like dancing on a (very) highwire. In this take I skirt the edges a few times and just slip off the form a little but each time I’m able to make instant corrections to slip back into it; a passing note, a pause or two and there it is. Come on. Red light or not, you can do this. Then I start to approach the last pass and I feel myself start to tense up. Don’t lose it now. Please don’t lose it now. One wrong move and I’m going to have to go right back to the beginning again. I hold it together and there it is. The final drum beat. Done.

I didn’t even realise it was there but the release of nervous tension when I finish is enormous. Incredible. So much that I’m suddenly completely out of energy. Cup of tea time before I tackle the next track I think. While waiting for the tea to brew, I think, ‘Oh screw it. This next one’s only a minute or so long. Let’s have a go. Three quick takes later and it’s in the bag and tea’s brewed. This really is a punch the air moment. Now I can relax. Just the slap thing left for tomorrow.

Doing this today, especially today has made me realise I really needed an audition that was going to make me nervous and a little uncomfortable. One that I could really feel. And yes, one where I thought there was a very real possibility I wouldn’t get the gig but very much wanted it. This ticks all those boxes. Possibly more than I realised.

Autumn Leaves

Day 660

Sunday November 26

I’ve got to con my fingers that they can play slap. Just for the time it takes to do a 90 second take.

A few takes and I have something that’s acceptable but won’t blow anyone away. But I’ve played the line on the track with some variations like they asked and I think that’s the most important thing. Now I want to really go for it hopefully try to at least get a relatively impressive take down. Two or three more attempts in and it just isn’t happening. It’s only now that I see I’ve got a blister on my popping finger. A really good big, ready to explode thing. With that, I realise it really doesn’t matter how much more I want to try. I’m done. Talk about taking it to the edge.

A good job I held off practicing this yesterday. If I had, it looks like I would had some serious issues trying to get anything done today and that wouldn’t have been any good at all.

Right. All sent off now. Nothing more I can do.

Day 661

Monday November 27

Oh it feels weird not trying to book any gigs or not to have any calls to make. Even so, a gig request comes in. It’s from our main care home group asking if we can do a voluntary show for a Christmas party on the 21^st. With Dan’s baby due sometime in December, this was always going to be a tricky and unpredictable period and even before recent events overtook us, we’d decided to leave off booking for December rather than having to cancel a show or two. Not a good look at the best of times but especially not during that period. We have a quick chat about the 21^st and it doesn’t take long to decide it will have to be a no for this one. Sorry.

Day 663

Wednesday November 29

A very last minute gig offer tonight as St Christophers in London Bridge texts asking if we can play tonight. It comes in at 7pm with the gig starting sometime around 10. What is it with people being blindly loyal to texts, even in an emergency situation? If I’m out of the room when the phone goes ping then don’t look at my phone when I re-enter, I’m not going to see the text. And you need an answer now? Make a bloody call. I don’t think I will ever understand this. Well, I know half the answer. This is the venue we’d decided Dan would take solo if they wanted us back. Doesn’t pay nearly enough for the two of us. I call Dan. Is he up for it? He’s stuck in work with his own emergency involving lots of water being somewhere it shouldn’t. OK.

I feel like helping. The venue, and a friend if I can. So, playing the texting game as that’s how the guy seems to want to do it, I ask if whoever comes along needs their own mixing desk – the venue provides the speakers. Yes comes the reply. Fine. I call Ben. Does he have one? If he does there’s a paying gig tonight if he wants it. He doesn’t, but he can get one but not at this short notice. Two down.

Now I remember two of the guys I did that fantastic jam with in the Pack And Carriage a few months ago. David and Tom. Both solo cover guys. David’s the one who bigged me up in front of his busking crowd in front of Camden tube station. I don’t have their numbers but I am friends with both of them on Facebook so can fire off a to both of them there and see if one of them comes back. Before I do, I tell the venue we’ve struck out twice but I have two other possibilities. Both Tom and David are active on Facebook right now and they both get back to me very quickly. David’s just finished a show and Tom’s about to start one. Tom says he could make my show after the one he’s about to play but he doesn’t have his mixing desk with him. As for David, the show he’s just finished is in Malta and last time I checked, it doesn’t have a direct tubeline to Camden. I call the venue to say sorry, but all of my options have played out. To which I get a very grateful reply for my efforts. I have no idea what happens over there after this.

So we’ve seen through all this how hard it is to book gigs. Now, on the other side of the equation, I’ve have one fall in my lap that I couldn’t do and I’ve not been able to give it away. Damn this game is hard.